Archive for August, 2017

postheadericon Recognizing the Time Of Endearment

The most satisfying moment between two persons after their wedding is often that moment when all the traditional formalities, legalities, customs and traditions have been completed and when the happy couple has the chance to settle back and truly live as a couple rather than as lovers, honeymooners, newlyweds, or parents.  Instead they are a married couple, with all the sense of togetherness and mutual responsibility and caring that entails.  It is the time when they recognize each other’s quirks and characteristics, and elect to accept and adapt to them, rather than attempting to change them.  They decide that for better or for worse they will share their lives together.


You can always recognize the folks who have hit that moment.  It is when you see a couple together not holding one another rapturously, or clutching hands like teenagers in a darkened movie theater.  Instead they walk together occasionally turning to say something, but otherwise just strolling along as if they know what each other is thinking.  They may wear their penny loafers or sandals from Sperry Top Sider, and they may be wondering what other new items they want to get using their Groupon coupons.  Their purchases are for their personal comfort and enjoyment.  They exult when one choses something which the other finds useful and attractive.  Even their disputes occur within the accepted framework of the relationship.  A dispute contributes to the relationship because they refuse to let it come between them.


Watching such a couple one day I was struck to see how they supported one another.  He couldn’t swim, so he stayed in the shallowest section of the pool watching her workout diligently swimming laps the length of the pool.  He stood there encouraging her.  It was touching to see how they supported one another.  It was clear to see that despite their obvious individual differences that pair has achieved a particular plateau in their relationship.  It wasevidenced by their sense of contentment and confidence in one another.  The phase they’d attained may lack the euphoria of initial marital bliss, or the excitement of their first days of romance.  But it outshone both by the quiet but assured guaranteed of long-lasting devotion.